A Father’s Legacy

Father’s Day has always been another of those loaded days for us. I remember the first one after Arron died hanging out on a NJ beach with a dozen other 9/11 widows watching our children build sandcastles, dying for a G&T even though it was only 10:30. Somehow we have muddled through the rest unmemorably.
This year was the first year where it occurred to me that I was OK that Father’s Day was around the corner. I’ve made no special plans. I am not bracing for anything.
Carter has been invited to his friend’s house. A friend with two dads. The irony is not lost on me or them I am sure.
Yesterday we were at Barnes and Noble and Carter found one of those singing cards and bought it for the dads. In it he wrote:
“Happy Father’s Day Guys. Even though I am not your son you kind of feel like my dads. Oh and thanks for everything. From Carter.”
I remembered that Arron, whose own father died when he was 17, also adopted dads on a regular basis. He made many great friends this way, and in turn was a great friend and great father as I am certain his son will be.

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  1. anniegirl1138 June 19, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    My late husband lost his dad when he was about six. He had a habit of acquiring fathers throughout his life too. He was thrilled with my dad. I guess they will be spending this coming Sunday together for first time in a while.

    Have a good day.

  2. Abigail June 19, 2009 at 6:26 pm


    I guess acquiring fathers is common among fatherless boys. Its a lovely thought that your husband and father will be spending Father's Day together. Doesn't make it any easier for you though. I am sorry. Its gonna be a toughie for you this year.

  3. abernier June 24, 2009 at 1:15 am

    I grew up female and fatherless, and I too acquired some father substitutes: dads of friends who were exceptionally kind to me, including me on ski trips, etc. What your son wrote is beautiful.

  4. Andrew July 18, 2009 at 12:39 am

    Nice information…

    Thank you very much…

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  5. Pingback: A Father's Day Round-Up - Abigail Carter

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