I got an email today from urns.com. No really. They would like me to add them to my blogroll and I truly don’t know how I feel about that. Do they know that most 9/11 widows never had need of an urn? Honestly, I have no experience in the world of urn-dom, since I had nothing to put in one, but I’m weirdly fascinated by this site. A tear drop necklace that allows you to carry your loved one at all times around your neck? There’s actually an entire category called “Cremation Jewelry” that I can only assume was inspired by Angelina. Biodegradable urns in the shape of sea-shells? Urns that double as clocks. I’m not sure if these are meant to be put on your mantel so that you can always rely on your dead loved one for the time, or if its meant to be buried. I’m hard pressed to figure out why anyone would need to know the time at that point.
I realize I’ve missed out on an entire subculture of death. How would I have made the decision between solid brass, marble or alloy? Isn’t alloy what you pay extra for when buying a car? I imagine many of you have had to make these decisions. If not at urns.com than at coffins.com. How surreal an experience that must be.
On that note, I’ve had a number of conversations with widows and widowers who years later still have their loved one’s ashes sitting on the mantle. “I know it’s weird,” they say. Or, “I just haven’t found the right time,” or “it’s complicated because of family.” I’ve also heard some lovely stories of beach-based or mountain top ceremonies with entire families taking part. I was moved by the scene in “The Descendants” when the father (George Clooney) and his kids head out in a canoe to sprinkle the mom’s ashes on the water.
I’ve tried to write a scene in my book about a sprinkling of ashes ceremony. I hope I’ve managed to capture something I have little experience with.
What has been your experience? Did you buy your loved one’s urn online?
All mirth aside, urns.com does have a useful blog which I will add to my blogroll.