Lately, I’ve been trying out a new dating site, OKCupid. Its free which is nice, and well organized. They have a perplexing array of questions that you answer (very eHarmony-esque), which they use along with some complicated algorithm to find you matches. I’ve had a few dates from it â€“ all very nice, though nothing sticking at this point.
One thing I have noticed on this new site are the number of 18-24 year old’s who are contacting me. This rarely happened on Match.
My first response was to be flattered, followed quickly by skepticism, if not tinged with a tiny bit of thrill mixed with disgust. They are usually very good looking after all. The players. But really, what the heck is a 22 year old guy contacting a 45 year old woman if not for a sex lesson? Ugh. I’m not willing to turn my bedroom into a classroom. Seems that at 45, women become the high school boys of the online dating set. It doesn’t take long for these hot young’ns to start pulling out the sex talk, which at one time in my life might have been thrilling, but now just causes me to roll my eyes. I actually had one guy start asking such creepy questions, I blocked him.
There was a teacher at one of the kid’s schools last year who was fired for hooking up with a 17 year old student. I couldn’t even imagine what the appeal in that might be. And to risk a career?
Maybe it would be nice to be more like Jules on Cougar Town, live a free, happy, date the cute neighbor across the street. Too bad I don’t have one of those. But even her boyfriend is relatively ancient â€“ in his mid-30s. I could do mid-30s. I like to think things like age and height and smoking don’t matter when it comes to finding someone you want to be with, but in reality, at least for me, it matters. I know, there are lots of people who would tell me to just go for it, have some fun. I guess I’m sort of a prude, one who is no longer willing to leap into bed with some hot young thing just for the thrill of it.
I guess the beauty of getting old, is knowing what you are willing and unwilling to accept. Perhaps that is the true definition of a Cougar.