Despite all that chatter about staying stuck in widowhood, or perhaps because of it, I have been attempting to write about Arron for the new book I hope to write. Oddly, I am finding this infinitely difficult to do and keep finding ways of distracting myself, so I don’t...
...continue readingArchive
The Spider
Perpetuating Loss Redux
My last post generated quite a lively discussion and so I thought I would try and hone in on some of the issues it raised. In particular, Shafeen’s comment: Perception is an interesting and complex thing – it is generally created with a few “sticky” labels – and once...
...continue readingPerpetuating Loss
I’m trying not to dwell on the fact that a 9-year old girl, born on 9/11/01 was shot down in cold blood this weekend. I hadn’t, until now ever thought of babies born on 9/11/01, moments of happiness on such a mournful day. I know I’m not the only...
...continue readingIs Grief An Addiction?
For my latest book project I have been reading a book called Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen Fisher. I have been working on the theory that grief recovery is not very far off from addiction recovery. I know this sounds far fetched,...
...continue readingRecovery Café
We sit rapt around the table in the last five minutes of the class listening to her tell her story, part of an assignment that has turned into so much more. The class is for those recovering from substance abuse – never has there been a group of braver...
...continue readingLabyrinth of Desire
I’ve been doing some research for the book proposal I have been writing (more on that later) and have come across a book called Labyrinth of Desire: Women, Passion and Romantic Obsession by Rosemary Sullivan. In it she investigates the reason we love the way we do. She uses...
...continue readingBar Mitzva
I sat next to my son (my daughter having found her friends wanted nothing to do with us), willing myself not to weep, knowing his eyes were upon me. I had not braced myself, had not expected to feel so flooded with emotion as I watched a boy sing...
...continue readingSex and the Single Widow/er
Its my birthday and I can write what I want to… “Sex” and “widow” are not words you often hear together. Bit of an oxymoron actually. And yet. Its been a dry spell, so maybe this topic is on my mind more that it ought to be. I am pretty...
...continue readingNine Years – Remember or Forget?
Arron and I, likely around 89 or 90 Never Forget. That is the ubiquitous 9/11 statement is it not? And as always it perplexes me. This year in particular, with all the media attention about the Mosque in Manhattan and the burning of the Koran in Florida, how can we...
...continue readingSoul Sisters
I have just received word that my cousin and soul sister has joined ranks with those of us who are bereaved. My heart aches for her. She had finally met someone with whom she admired and adored. We all know how precious that is. I do not know details other...
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Learning to live again after the sudden death of my husband Arron on 9/11. I wrote my book, The Alchemy of Loss, as a testament to finding the silver lining of grief and loss, to discovering the defibrillator effect of trauma and its power to awaken us into really living. I now live in Seattle with my two teenaged kids.
