Mother's Day Breakfast 2009 There was a time when I rolled my eyes at Mother’s Day. Another guilt inducing dash around for flowers or some “perfect” thing to show appreciation. Father’s Day was no exception. My dad was the Scrooge of Father’s Day and to this day, whenever I call...
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The Ghost of Mother’s Days Past
Knee Surgery, Theta Style
Image borrowed from www.wizardnow.com. Listen your way into a theta state. A friend told me about “Theta Healing” and the incredible experiences she has had with it, and so me being me, I had to check it out. Googling it, I learned that Theta healing is, in essence, a tapping...
...continue readingHow my Husband’s Death on 9/11 Improved my Life
This past weekend, I was honored to speak at Seattle University for their Search for Meaning Book Fair. One of the highlights was to see Mary Oliver read a bunch of her poems. I have been a huge fan of Mary Oliver for quite some time. She writes of animals...
...continue readingGrief as Mental Illness
A Huffington Post article posted today discussed the idea of grief being medically classified as a mental illness, treatable with medications much the way depression is handled by the medical community. The article was based on an article that was published in The New York Times on Jan 25th. While...
...continue readingGrief Kid Syndrome? Maybe Not
As we bump down the messy path of childhood to teen-dom, I have often found myself explaining away unexplainable kid behavior as being related to the trauma of their childhoods, the lack of a dad, their grief. Irrational eruptions over homework are explained as unexpressed grief from their tumultuous...
...continue reading1000 Mitzvahs
I went to a reading on Sunday at Elliot Bay Books in Seattle (great independent bookstore) for a book called 1000 Mitzvahs. Linda Cohen began writing by blogging about her daily random acts of kindness – Mitzvahs – a mission she set about completing as a way of overcoming...
...continue readingInterment pas des deux
Carter playing taps at the interment of R. E. Smallwood, July 14th, 2011 We’re in Montreal today, having just interred my grandfather into the most beautiful cemetery at the top of Mont Royal. Carter played taps beautifully as the ashes were lowered into the ground. It was a hard swallow moment....
...continue readingIn Memoriam
Me sitting with my Grampa after his ski accident, circa 1968 “I’m off to buy some fil-um!” He would smile slightly as he said it. “Grampa! It’s “film,” not “fil-um!” “That’s what I said. Fil-um.” We were never sure if he really didn’t hear the difference, or if he just did it because...
...continue readingThe Power of Loss
Richard's Rwanda girls meet FAWE girls Yesterday was the 17th anniversary of the beginning of the Genocide in Rwanda. Olivia has been involved in Richard’s Rwanda IMPUHWE since she was 11 years old and last summer visited Rwanda to meet the girls that they have been helping, an incredibly powerful...
...continue reading“Grief” Kids
I found myself writing a comment on the blog of a another widowed blogger about kid anxiety and thought I would share what tiny morsels of wisdom I have gleaned over the years: The anxiety thing in “grief” kids is so hard. And so common. Both my kids have struggled...
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Learning to live again after the sudden death of my husband Arron on 9/11. I wrote my book, The Alchemy of Loss, as a testament to finding the silver lining of grief and loss, to discovering the defibrillator effect of trauma and its power to awaken us into really living. I now live in Seattle with my two teenaged kids.
