I used to get signs all the time from Arron. The smoke smells, lights turning on, CD players playing schumltzy Christmas songs. I wonder why they have stopped. Is it that I don't need his signs anymore? Or is he just off galavanting around the Universe, too busy to remember his poor earthbound wife, who is slogging away raising his kids alone? The bum. I kind of need him right now. Carter is being teased at school. With all the bullying stuff going on right now, its hard to know how seriously to take it. I sat in bed last night trying to work out words of encouragement. I managed to eek out how difficult middle school is, how every kid is trying to be popular, be someone's *best* friend, to fit in. I don't know why this seems like Arron's domain, but it does. With Olivia, and all the girl fiascoes, I knew how to cope. I'm less certain with boy dynamics. Aren't they supposed to be more straightforward?Arron was a scrapper. He told me once of nearly being jumped by a gang of guys. He was ready to fight, but instead took out his dentures (he wore dentures after losing a bunch of his teeth in a bike accident) and scaring the crap out of them (trust me, its was freaky). He used to walk down 40th St. in NYC along with the throngs walking toward Midtown from the Port Authority and bash people with his bizarrely broad shoulders. Then he'd swear at them for walking into them. But he wasn't always so brutish. In fact, in middle school he was a shrimp and a pretty boy with long hair and a pink girly complexion. I know he got teased which is why I know he would know just the right thing to say to Carter right now.If he wasn't such a deadbeat, maybe he'd give us a sign.