Flaky

Gosh, its hard writing a speech. Especially one about grief and loss. The subject is HUGE! But I am giving my speech in Waterloo, Ontario next Tuesday and I have to get it done. I have finally manged to arrange it into themes. Kids, Anger, Memorials, a 9/11 loss, etc. But I feel like I am barely scraping the surface. I do like my finale though, because I love talking about the silver lining of grief. The opportunity to grow and become someone you couldn't have possibly imagined before grief. My friend asked me yesterday how I had changed. I had to think a lot about that. I think its that I wake up every morning with no expectations about how the day will go. The old me would have had the day planned down to the last minute, and if it didn't go according to plan, I would get angry and frustrated. Now, my problem is being unable to prioritize, and being something I always vowed I wouldn't be -- flaky. Yes, I am flaky! I forget to answer emails, I miss orthodontist and doctors appointments, things I would never have done before. I think I have let go, and now the things that used to be important just aren't anymore. Now the important things are figuring out how to impart to others the silver lining of grief.